Relatedness: More than Shaking Hands

You are mingling at a work related social luncheon where you vaguely know one other person. The MC begins an icebreaker activity that involves shaking multiple hands and introducing yourself as an animal.

So... are you suddenly covered in sweat, ready to break for the door or ruffling your feathers like a Turkey and ready to roam the room?

This type of scenario showcases the R in SCARF, the relatedness you feel or don’t feel when engaging with others.  (For more on SCARF see our Brain Engagement blog).

People are different in their reactions. Whether you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert may influence whether you jump full in or hold back and observe. Relatedness also involves your perception as to whether you are ‘in’ or ‘out’ of a social group. People naturally like to form ‘tribes’ or cliques where they experience a sense of belonging, however they want to do so at their own pace and in a way that fosters SAFE connections.

How can one foster safe connection and increase relatedness among groups?

•  Form work teams and ask each person what strength they can bring to the group.
• Share personal stories and information OVER TIME. Personalized introductions or energizers often work (but maybe don’t bring out the “introduction as an animal” one right away).   
• Incorporate small group or dyad/triad work to encourage safe sharing.
• Introduce mentoring and coaching opportunities among team players.

It’s not about increasing the number of social connections (or hands you shake) necessarily, but more about increasing the number of SAFE connections to increase productivity and positive relatedness responses.