Fairness: Collaborating Without a Pit In Your Stomach

Check out these Fairness scenarios...

Among Children: “He has more chocolate milk than me” or “She gets to stay up later than me”

Among Coworkers: “We do the exact same job but I get paid way less”

In life: A store teller directs, “Can I help the next person in line please.” The two people behind you wheel their buggies to the front of the new line even though you are the next person in line.

In collaboration: “There will be a closed meeting tonight for our budget sub group.” A steering committee meets to discuss funding cuts. You are not sure what the implications are for your program this coming year and have not been asked to give recommendations.

Do you have a pit in your belly? Hands feeling tied? Bad taste in the mouth?

If so, these are all natural responses when faced with Fairness situations. These last scenarios showcase the F (Fairness) from the SCARF domains. In our Raising the Village workshop we’ve found that this domain can elicit a very strong THREAT or disengaged reaction from people (depending on the severity of the scenario).

Why does our brain strive for fairness?

 It often comes down to a perceived sense of injustice or justice. Unfair exchanges can activate the insular, a part of the brain involved in intense emotions such as disgust. This particular trigger is very sensitive to perception AND past experience. When we feel this unfairness our empathy abilities go way down.

What to do? How can we increase fairness?

•           Volunteer your services to causes that you feel increase justice and fairness in the world
•           Increase transparency with direct communication (who is impacted by your work? who might want to know about how this work unfolded? TELL THEM!).
•           Share details about internal processes (such as financial records, decision making methods, hiring practices, etc.)
•           Establish clear ground rules/guidelines/objectives in everything from one hour meetings to yearlong projects
•           Discuss shared workloads and base the work on strengths (what does the work look like? how will it be evaluated?)
•           Ask questions if you need clarification on expectations in your relationships. Don’t wait for someone else to always fill you in on the process.
•           Acknowledge your “fairness” buttons and let them be the catalyst to speak up for what is important. AND to be curious about what other people see as fair.

Village Raising Questions

 When do you feel that pit in your stomach?

What does this mean in your engagement with others?