Status: Break the Pecking Order!

Status: Break the Pecking Order when it comes to engaging with others.

Your supervisor or board chair rushes into your office and says “Can I give you some feedback?" Or someone close to you says “We need to talk".

What is your first SNAP response?

Does this engage or dis-engage you? Does it make you lean in, eager and ready? Or does it make you step back, wary and hesitant?

For a great many people this may invoke an AVOID response based on the social need for status.

Last week's blog talked about Dr. David Rock's brain-based model for collaborating with and influencing others. This week we begin to explore his SCARF model, starting with the "S" - Status, which translates into how we perceive our relative importance to others.

Let's explore another example... Your group has worked long and hard on a collaborative initiative. You open the morning paper and read about it. There is no mention of your organization’s contribution at all.

What's your response now? Approach or avoid? Engage or dis-engage? If you feel a bit ticked off, the status "pecking order" could be ruffled. This is not only socially normal, but biologically normal.

Equality is often what people are seeking. But, chemically, studies show that dopamine levels rise when feelings of status are invoked. It often feels good to receive positive feedback because of the perception of increased status and the resulting reward circuitry being activated. On the flip side, another study showed that a reduction in status resulting from being left out of an activity lit up the same regions of the brain as physical pain (Eisenberger et al., 2003).

Feeling a threat in our status can put us in a defensive mode (not an easy place to collaborate from). Things like performance reviews or situations where we feel a "less than/more than" can generate BIG dis-engagement.

Village Raising Question:

What activates a STATUS approach or avoid response for you?
Where do you notice a status system or pecking order?

This week, start to notice the places in your work and life where a status threat occurs (for you or for others). Share your experiences on facebook, twitter or here.

Stay tuned...after the SCARF domains are explored, we will share some strategies for increasing positive interactions in all the domains.